Fear. Mistrust. Judgement. Anger. Pride.

I’m considering a month long experiment –  this morning in my quiet time I so enjoyed my extended time on the back porch with just a cup of coffee and the scripture, that I became disgusted with myself.

I realized that I am so lazy and waste so much time.  I remember a time – and not too long ago – when I passionately pursued my relationship with the Lord.  Where did that go?  How did I get to here?

Through some recent experiences and observations that have been placed before me, I have spent a bit of time reflecting and getting really honest with myself… Frankly, that can be a really scary place.   In that introspection, I didn’t like what I saw.  When I peel off the sanguine exterior and the professional demeanor, I have come to realize just how true the old saying “… you are what you eat…” is in my life.  Ha ha… not because I’ve become a cup of coffee or anything, but because of what my life has become… self absorbed, stressful, angry, and negative.  Those characteristics are NOT what I am nor what I want to be.  As a result of them, I’ve found myself more distanced from my family and friends and find myself a little lonely.

Those who know me, may not yet see it because mostly it stays on the inside, just simmering like a big pot of chili on low heat on the back eye of the stove.  But I know it’s there.  I know it wouldn’t take much for the pot to boil over and splatter that hot chili all over my kitchen and potentially on my family and friends.

How did it I get here?  Fear. Mistrust. Judgement. Anger. Pride.  These are my demons I battle regularly.  They seem to have the most impact when my life is hectic and God get’s pushed out of my schedule so I can watch TV.  There.. how’s that for being real? The idiot box is the prime source of everything negative, fearful, judgmental and self absorbing.  The other biggest source other people.  So many people are fearful, mistrusting, judgmental, angry, and self-absorbed… just like me.

This morning, I honestly and actually turned my own stomach.

So in my time with Daddy this morning, this little idea sprouted in my head…  (I’m fairly sure I know where it came from…  see James 1:17)

I’ve been captivated for the last several weeks on

Philippians 4:8 (The Message) Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse.

What would it look like if for 30 days, I intentionally chose to eliminate every form of extraneous, non-best,  input and influence from my life?  What if (where I have control) I replace every worldly noise clamoring for my attention with something that kept my attention and focus on the Lord?  What would that look like?

What if I renewed my mind with the God’s word in every way, shape, and form I could find?

Romans 12:2 (New King James Version) 2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

What if I bathed myself in that which was true, noble, just, pure, lovely, of good report, and praiseworthy?

What if I was intentional about not wasting any time and for 30 days specifically focused on ONE THING… SOMETHING SPECIFIC… – be it passion for Him, creativity, patience, wisdom, humility, mercy, etc. – for the next 30 days?

What if I consumed everything I could get from God with every spare moment?

I don’t know what it will look like, but I’m pretty excited about the journey.  Our pastor this morning quoted that God’s word is a “lamp unto my feet” (Psalms 119:105) and is meant to reveal the next step.

I wonder where my next step will be?

I will keep you posted on the journey….  It starts soon….

…Running After Papa